


Still Missing

by DemonzDust



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, POV Derek Hale, The Hale Pack - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:58:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonzDust/pseuds/DemonzDust
Summary: Being an alpha, a good alpha at least, was more involved than Derek had thought. Now with three betas he still struggles to give his first what he needs, and wonders if he'll ever be able to figure it out. Set during season two.





	Still Missing

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago and found it on my drive again recently. I think I've improved a lot as a writer since then, so I was a bit reluctant to post this, but I figured since it was finished I might as well.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

Isaac was different, and it wasn't till Derek had brought both Erica and Boyde into the pack that he began to notice it.   
  
Erica had needed health and positive attention. Boyde needed companionship and strength. With the bite and a pack, these two were vibrant; they glowed with newfound confidence and spirit.   
  
But Isaac was a thousand times more complicated than the others. He had deeper needs that Derek couldn't understand, and was becoming doubtful that he'd ever be able to fulfill.   
  
It had been weeks since the bite and Isaac was still ridden with terrible insecurities. Insecurities that would make him look weak or vulnerable to others. An easy target for anyone looking to take a shot at him.

Derek was woken by Isaac’s ragged breath practically every night as the beta was plagued with nightmares. Derek had almost gotten used to the stifled sobs and thin scent of fear wafting their underground home in small ripples.

But his beta fearfully suffering in his own den was never something wanted to get used to.

At first he’d ignored it. He thought it would go away with time as Isaac was no longer being beaten and traumatized on a daily basis, but they’d persisted for week.   
  
Once it became apparent that the problem wasn’t going away Derek would spend at least three nights a week pacing around the underground rail corridors, listening to his beta suffer, struggling with what to do. 

He never said anything, never woke him, and never brought it up the following day. He wasn’t sure what he’d say and Isaac wanted so badly to impress him, acknowledging this weakness could be humiliating to him.   
  
When he looked in Isaac's eyes he saw fear and sadness. Despite his newfound abilities, he still lacked even the most basic threads of self esteem. He’d developed a cool confident exterior, but that melted away to nothing in the dead of night, and Isaac barely kept it up in front of Derek anymore.   
  
He had grown to hate himself for breaking Isaac's arm. He thought he was driving home a lesson. Stupid. All it had done was make Isaac weaker.   
  
And worse, he'd made Isaac afraid of him. The beta would flinch if Derek made a sudden move or took a deep breath, recoiled if Derek got too close.

That was not how betas were supposed to act around their alpha. Or at least, not the kind of alpha Derek wanted to be.   
  
He'd tried letting up and going easier on Isaac, but when the beta noticed it only seemed to make him feel worthless.   
  
No matter how well Derek did for Erica and Boyde, He just couldn't seem to do right by Isaac.   
  
Nothing he tried worked, and he slowly became more and more frustrated with himself and his own inability to take care of what was his. 

Isaac seemed to pick up on this and took it as he was failing Derek.   
  
If Derek acted like a mentor or tried to take care of him, Isaac would get more jumpy, as if expecting Derek to turn on him in a second. If Derek backed off Isaac was sad and lonely.   


It was an impossible, frustrating, no-win situation and Derek was becoming increasingly afraid that he might snap at Isaac the next time he recoiled, and he knew that would only make everything worse.

He was almost at the point of asking someone for help...but who would he ask?   
  
Scott? They weren't on great terms right now and the last thing he wanted to do was look like he couldn't take care of his pack in front of him. Deaton? Maybe but he wasn't sure he'd be able to help.

_ He _ was Isaac’s alpha and  _ he _ should know what Isaac needed.

It was during a night when Isaac’s nightmares were so bad Derek was about to break and go ask the vet for help when he heard Isaac call out for him.

“ _ Derek _ !” Isaac’s shaky, dream state voice reached out through the musty dark underground air.

Derek leapt from his own train compartment into the nook Isaac slept in. He found him drenched in sweat thrashing around his shallow mattress calling for help.

Hardly thinking, Derek was on his knees next to him, pulling him upright into a sitting position.   
  
Upon contact Isaacs swiped at him and his golden eyes flashed open darting everywhere in the room.   
  
Letting instinct drive him, Derek pulled Isaac to his chest to stifle the dangerous thrashing. Isaac’s heart still pounded in his chest as he took deep breaths to steady himself.   
  
"Derek?" He asked as he finally became aware of his surroundings, "what are you...?"   
  
"You were screaming." Derek stated, still holding him.   
  
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...did I-I guess I woke you up?"   
  
"Don't worry about it." Derek said pulling Isaac’s face into his neck.   
  
To Derek’s dismay, Isaac's muscles tensed up and he flinched. He then went to pull away, but when he did Isaacs fingers wrapped around the hem of his night shirt and Derek stopped.   
  
He’d done it reflexively, and when realized what he had done he quickly released the fabric and muttered an apology.   
  
"You can...I'm-I’m sorry, you can go. I won't wake you again."   
  
It was always these mixed messages with Isaac. Never a clear direction to take.

_Touch me. Don’t touch me. Come closer, no, stay far away. Talk to me, leave me alone._ _I like that, no I hate that. Please stop. Wait, why are you stopping?_

Derek growled low in the back of his throat and closed his eyes. He breathed in Isaacs cold and terrified scent and asked his instincts what to do.   
  
"You're coming with me." He practically growled and in one motion, swept Isaac up and left the room.   
  
He could tell that had been the wrong move immediately as Isaacs went rigid like a board and his heart began to pound.   
  
"You're staying with me so I can keep an eye on you." He tried to clarify.   
  
He said it as softly as he could into Isaac’s ear, trying his best not to sound threatening.   
  
"I'm not mad." He added, but at that Isaac practically wrenched out of Derek's grasp.   
  
"Isaac!" Derek shouted, "Snap out of it!"   
  
The beta went still again.   
  
"I'm sorry," he muttered, humiliated, "it's just-I just..."   
  
"You...you don't have to explain." Derek said. 

He had a pretty good idea of where Isaac might have heard that before.

Sometimes Derek wished Mr. Lahey was still around so he could kill him personally.

He made his way into his own room and set Isaac down on the mattress.

The whole compartment felt warmer and drier than Isaac’s.

He fixed his beta with a stare.

"I'm not your father Isaac." He stated, "When I say I'm not mad, I mean it. I'm not angry with you."   
  
Isaac swallowed and looked away. 

"You seem mad." He said to the wall.

Derek let out an exasperated sigh. He wasn't mad, he was  _ frustrated _ . 

Frustrated with himself, not Isaac who wanted so badly to please him.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I swear, Isaac."   
  
There was a long pause and Derek knew exactly where Isaac’s mind was.   
  
He wanted to apologize for breaking his arm, wanted to explain that he had been trying to protect him, but the words got lost in his throat and never made their way out.   
  
Instead he took Isaac’s arm in his hands, Isaac gasped and flinched but didn't pull away. Derek knew that it was out of loyalty, not trust.   
  
Derek looked him deep in the eyes and rubbed the trembling arm gently.   
  
"I won't hurt you again." He managed to get out.

He ran his hand up Isaac's leg from his ankle to his knee.   
  
"I'm going to protect you. Nothing is going to hurt you when you're with me.”

Something in Isaac's terrified eyes softened and the faintest ghost of an embarrassed smile lit his lips.   
  
Derek's heart leapt at the progress.   
  
"You don't need to..." He began shyly, but Derek cut him off.   
  
"I'm not asking permission." he stated, "You gave me permission to protect you when you agreed to take the bite. I told you then what pack means, what having an alpha means."   
  
Isaac let the words sink in.   
  
"Take this off." He said after a moment and tugged the soaking wet shirt over Isaac’s head.   
  
He crossed the compartment and dug a clean dry black t-shirt out of his own bag. One he liked to sleep in. He handed it to Isaac and watched as he pulled it on.   
  
The wolf inside him growled at the sight of Isaac, with his pale skin and soft curly hair, wearing his clothes, in his bed. Instinct wanted to jump on him and pin him down, run his hands all over his shivering body, bite him and lick him and...but Derek stifled both the growl and instincts down hard.   
  
"Go to sleep," he said, wrapping Isaac in his blankets, then reached and touched Isaac’s cheek. Isaac flinched involuntarily but Derek continued cupping his chin with his palm, "I'm going to watch you and wake you if you need it."   
  
"You don't have to..."   
  
Derek growled.   
  
"I'm not asking, Isaac."   
  
Isaac nodded and lay down on the pillows and within a few minutes he'd fallen asleep.   
  
Derek sat on the bed next to him and waited.   
  
Sure enough, as time passed Isaac’s heart rate increased and he started to whimper.   
  
"Isaac." Derek called and nudged him. Isaac’s eyes shot open.   
  
He took deep breaths, gathering his surroundings.   
  
"I'm sorry." He whispered looking down.   
  
"Don't be." Derek said, "Just go back to sleep."   
  
He ruffled Isaacs hair and the boy flinched again, but gave a weak smile, and fell asleep faster this time.   
  
It happened twice more, each time Isaac was able to recognize his surroundings faster and went back to sleep easier.   
  
By morning Derek was exhausted but encouraged and he scrounged up the energy to drive Isaac to school.   
  
Isaac was quiet and embarrassed on the drive and Derek couldn't find anything to say so he let the awkward silence hang.   
  
When they pulled into a parking space just outside the school he finally broke the silence asking, “Do you have lacrosse practice today?"   
  
"Yeah.”   
  
"I'll be here to pick you up afterwards."   
  
Isaac nodded and looked like he was about to say something else, but decided not to and muttered a quick "okay." Before walking off.   
  
Derek drove home, crashed into his bed and slept. It still smelled a bit like Isaac, but he didn't mind. The spiced smell of his beta in his blankets filled some dark hole inside of him and he fell into a deep restful sleep.


End file.
